MacGougan at Large

Notes on Swearing - 5

British Swearing

Our friends across the pond have their own ideas of what words to be shocked by.

To American ears, the word Bloody conjures up an unpleasant picture, but has no aura of being disreputable or improper. In the UK, however, it’s sufficiently shocking to have developed PG alternatives, such as Bleeding and Blooming.

Then there’s Bollocks. This word has been so taboo in England that in 1977 the Sex Pistols were sued for obscenity when they included it in an album name.

Bollocks is not to be confused with Bullocks (young, castrated bulls), Sandra Bullock (the award-winning actress), or the expression “bollix up” (to make a hash of something).

Having - in the classic manner of an oblivious American - written out the word Bollocks two three times in this posting, MacGougan at Large is now officially British smut. My dear, departed Mother, who was an avid Anglophile, would have been simultaneously proud and mortified.

If somebody calls me a Twat or a Wanker or a Plonker or a Berk, I’m likely to be confused rather than offended. You can’t always tell with British slang.

For example, does being “chuffed” about something sound like you’re really happy or really angry about it? To me, it sounds like you’re angry, but instead it means happy.

So even though none of those words sounds like a compliment, it could be deceptive. I might not want to rush into a disagreement on the point. Just to play it safe, I might shrug and say, “Maybe.”

As it turns out, this isn’t a strategy that I’d recommend. Having done some quick research, I can tell you that there are dozens of British slang terms for people who are stupid or contemptible, while there are approximately zero slang terms for people who are smart, kind, or conscientious.

So if you’re referred to by an unfamiliar term, you should probably object. The odds aren’t in your favor.