MacGougan at Large

Notes on Secondary Seasons - 4

Unofficial Summer

Official Summer, as anyone with access to Google can tell you, starts on June 20 or 21 and ends somewhere from September 21-24. Those are the accurate boundaries of summer in the same way that your textbook for high school French was an accurate summation of the French language as spoken in the real world.

Which is to say that Official Summer is not widely observed by the general public. The percentage of the American population that considers summer to be late June to late September hovers somewhere around the percentage of people who list Shemp as their favorite member of the Three Stooges.

For the remaining 99% of Americans, summer starts on Memorial Day and ends on Labor Day. That is, Unofficial Summer starts in late May - approximately a month before Official Summer - and ends the first week of September - two or three weeks before the end of Official Summer.

Here’s a hint that Official Summer is off-base. In many places, the summer solstice is known as Midsummer. Does that sound to you like it’s supposed to mark the beginning of summer?

Unofficial Summer has two big advantages over Official Summer. It starts earlier and it lasts longer. Yes, we lose a couple of summer weeks in September, but September is full of returning obligations. Back to School and Back to Work aren’t quite as painful if summer is widely understood to be over.

So here’s a song to argue the case.

“THE UNOFFICIAL SUMMER SONG”

Don’t listen to nerds
Who use those long words
Summer starts up in May
On Memorial Day
So Google is wrong - stop waiting so long
This is the Unofficial Summer Song!

A calendar’s quite good for draining pasta
But we can get you to your summer fasta!

Don’t fixate on facts
Let’s start to relax
Start spreading the news
It’s time for white shoes
Yes, Google is wrong, stop waiting so long
This is the Unofficial Summer Song!

Don’t believe an early start’s a naughty act
What’s a Solstice but a bygone Pontiac?

Don’t listen to nerds
Who use those long words
Summer starts up in May
On Memorial Day
So Google is wrong, stop waiting so long
This is the Unofficial Summer-
The Unofficial Summer-
The Unofficial Summer Song!