MacGougan at Large

Notes on Children's Books for Grown-Ups - 6

CBFGU Song

Here’s a song (or a bit of light verse that could become a song) from one of those would-be Children’s Books For Grown-Ups that I’ve been working on. This song relates to a chapter in which one of the toddler protagonists visits an optician and finds that the available glasses are all too big for him. The rhythm of the words, I think, shows some A.A. Milne influence.

YOUR GLASSES CAN’T BE BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD

If you plan to get some glasses
I can show you where the class is
There’s a lesson that you’ll wish that you had read.
It concerns the proper sizing
And it shouldn’t be surprising
That your glasses can’t be bigger than your head.

I will say this quite discreetly
They will miss your ears completely
And you’ll have to hold them with your hands instead.
It has to be admitted
When you get your glasses fitted
That your glasses can’t be bigger than your head.

The day so slowly passes
Holding up those giant glasses
You will wish that you had simply stayed in bed.
It’s a settled proposition
When you visit the optician
That your glasses can’t be bigger than your head.

(Next: Notes from A Trip to Norway)