MacGougan at Large

Notes on My Dangerous Neighborhood- 4

Wasps

If you live on the edge of woods, your yard is apt to have transitional areas - areas that aren’t exactly lawn but still have a bit of grass here and there. Such areas sometimes need a mow, even though it can feel a bit like you’re mowing out in the woods. 

The best analogy for this that I can think of is when I use my shaver on my ears or neck or anywhere other than my face. As an aside, I believe if you live long enough you will eventually grow hair on every square inch of your body. If you suspect at this point that I’m stalling, you’re exactly right. I know where this story is going.

One day, I was mowing an off-the-beaten-track portion of our yard when I felt a searing stab of pain in my ankle. And then another. And then on my wrist. What’s going on? I’m under attack! What’s buzzing around me?

I let go of the mower and ran, somehow pulling the malevolent cloud with me. “Help!” I zig-zagged uselessly. Another stab of pain. 

Where can I go to escape this torment? I know! I’ll run into the house and slam the door behind me!

I ran into the attached garage and then into the laundry-room/mud-room, where I was met by my wife. “Not in the house! We don’t want a house full of wasps!”

So I went back out to the garage and sat down with my arms over my head. Thankfully, after a few moments, the wasps declared victory and returned to what I deduced later was their underground home that I had recklessly mowed over.

Let me just say that I believe it was unfair of the wasps to build an underground home in the first place. The longstanding agreement between wasps and people is that people will allow wasps to continue to exist on our planet provided that they build big, round, papery homes in trees or under eaves - where we can see them!